mind management

Stress management – career change?

2011-10-21T16:36:00.001+01:00

When you wake up in the morning, do you feel dread?
Have you spent the night tossing and turning – unable to switch your mind off?
Are you always glad it’s Friday, yet Sundays fill you with anxiety?

Well you’re not alone, 75% of the working population wish they could have a different job*(stress management org) That’s over 500,000 of us in the UK feeling trapped, so it’s no wonder that the health of the population depends on how stressed we are.

While it’s an employers responsibility to create and maintain a stress free work culture and to make sure everyone is treated fairly and in a safe environment, we often don’t realise that it is us – ourselves, that have to keep good physical shape and get the work-life balance right.

More and more, we are put under extra stress because of the recession and constant bombardment from the media about how much unemployment there is.

So where does that leave us?

What’s stopping us achieving what we want and need?

What constitutes a stress free career?

Why are you doing your job?

Is it something you fell into by chance because you didn’t know what to do? Do you think you couldn’t earn a living from what you would like to do? Do you think you’re not clever enough or lack experience? All these are questions we ask ourselves but the answers we give back are not necessarily true.

A job that involves a favourite activity or passion
Many people give up a high paid stressful job to go on to become gardeners. Some give up safe but boring jobs to become policemen because they feel it’s serving the community. What is it about your current job you actually enjoy?

If you choose work, which is engaging, and enjoyable you thrive, sometimes it can be the actual work or the environment. If the job is mundane and unfulfilling then boredom is likely to set in and this can cause frustration and anxiety.

A healthy career has the right balance of pressure – not too much to spend all your time trying to sort out and not too little so you get bored.

Find the right style.
Many large companies have procedures in place to make sure there is no discrimination and safety. Is adhered to – however some people find this rather anonymous – they do not thrive because the constraints keep them from being creative, yet others may enjoy the security these jobs provide.

Pace of work
Some work is at a very slow pace where you may see results over a very long time span, other jobs may have a fast turnover or lots of deadlines.

Company structure
Some will want to climb up through the ranks of a company, some organisations have plenty of scope and opportunity to do this, others may be very limited. Some people too like being told what to do and others like to be autonomous – which are you?

Earning enough for your needs.
This one is interesting as although you may need to earn a set amount each month to pay for rent/mortgage / utilities / car etc it can be surprising how much more people spend when they are in a stressful job. Often these costs are found in the extras which are purchased as treats or just because you’re too tired to be bothered – the cup of coffee and muffin in the morning, the Panini at lunch, the bars of chocolate in the afternoon, a couple of drinks to wind down with colleagues in the evening and a take away after work because you‘re way too tired to cook.
Not only are these expensive, they are only making you feel good only as a temporary measure. It’s the fat and sugar in all these foods that makes you feel better at the time but once they’ve been digested it’s back to square one and you’ve consumed way over your daily calorie intake.

Getting a balance
You may not notice it happening at first, but if your work is encroaching into your down time, then you’re not getting the balance you need. There are vital positive neurotransmitters in the brain what make us feel good, stress will deplete them and being around a relaxed atmosphere with friends and family will create more. It can also impact on your relationships with your family and friends as they never see you and too much stress will impact on your sleep making it difficult to cope.

A sense of purpose and value
There are many careers which are stressful such as teaching, nursing and policing but if it touches on the type of people we are and the values we hold, if we feel these jobs are allowing us to give something back to the community at large, then we’re much more likely to endure the stress of the job because we have a much more positive reason to do it.

Cynophobia - a little more knowledge can help

2011-06-21T15:08:00.001+01:00

I have always maintained that my specialist subject is phobias, because I had so many for so many years. I even had hypnotherapy for them, but it didn’t work first time round – but that’s another story that needs analysing another time. There were two major aspects in my ‘curing’ (not a word the advertising standards like for eradicating a problematic response, but I feel cured!) my phobias 1) understanding what exactly was going on in my brain and body, at the moment of panic and 2) Having an incentive for success in a positive context – NOT – I won’t be scared of driving BUT I want my independence.

I’m particularly fascinated by odd phobias such as bananas, mushrooms, Santa Claus and a like, but the usual ones tend to be sickness, spiders, snakes, mice and dogs.
Cynophobia is a phobia of dogs. For those who love dogs – and it appears that hypnotherapists are particularly fond of dogs for some reason! – a dog is a man’s best friend and how could anyone be scared of one? When I started to see a lady from Congresbury with such a phobia we went through the usual rewind, reframe and lowering general anxiety and an extra session, but not with myself but Jo Buckingham a dog psychologist.

I later visited Jo to ask her more about dog behaviour as my client really benefited from her understanding our furry friends a bit better. Instead of just running away, the hypnotherapy had bought her enough time to interpret the dog’s demeanour and to act accordingly.

Many people misinterpret a dog bark as ‘go away’. Jo said that dogs quite often learn this from the postman! Person walks past the house or up to the door and the dog barks. Because that person then carriers on or turns away it reinforces the behaviour in the dog’s mind. Dog thinks ‘I had some influence here’ and so tries it again and it works, which reinforces it more. If the dog is out on the street or in a garden, this is when the behaviour is unhelpful. So whenever this happens, these are the kind of signs to look out for.

A relaxed jaw, tongue out; tail up is a happy dog.

If the mouth is straight, the dog is tense, if it’s licking it’s lips and yawning it’s not too keen on the situation, if it’s baring it’s teeth, it’s not best pleased. At this point you can decide what to do, but Jo pointed out not to approach the dog front on and look straight in it’s eyes. When other dogs approach they will do so side on and move round to sniff, so you need to move side on and try and make yourself less threatening. If the dog comes up, present the back of your hand to sniff and lick – they lick to see if they recognise the taste. If they get excited and start nipping, it’s not a bad thing, try and rub their chest. Dogs like to feel secure and some dog owners bandage the chests of nervous dogs, to make them feel better. Try smiling and speaking with a quiet voice, don’t shout.

Just remember if a dog barks they might just be stating they are there and may just be thinking you’ve got treats. If you ignore them, they usually go away, don’t confront them or run away – this can make them think it’s a game!

My client felt this knowledge, and taking Jo’s dogs out for a walk helped her enjoy the countryside she loved so much, but had been too afraid to walk in for many years.

Local hypnotherapist meets new national standards

2011-04-04T14:44:00.001+01:00

Local hypnotherapist meets new national standards

A Nailsea and Clevedon based hypnotherapist has become one of the first in the country to achieve a new national standard of excellence for her therapy.

Penny Ling has been registered by the Complementary & Natural Healthcare Council (CNHC), the UK regulator for complementary healthcare.

The recognition places her at the forefront of a national drive to provide a benchmark for standards and safety for the public. Practitioners registered with the CNHC meet national occupational standards and abide by a rigorous code of conduct, performance and ethics.

Penny said: “Achieving registration is not only great news for me and my clients, but a vital step for hypnotherapy.”

“This is the time of year when many people are struggling to keep up their new year resolutions. The most popular uses for hypnotherapy are around stress and anxiety conditions, weight control and addictive behaviours such as smoking and alcohol abuse, and my speciality - Phobias.”

Hypnotherapy is one of 11 disciplines now recognised by the CNHC. Members of the public can search the CNHC register to find practitioners in their local area. More than 40,000 searches were carried out last year.

By providing a verification of standards, the CNHC allows GPs, hospitals, private healthcare providers and insurance companies to refer patients to hypnotherapy practitioners or to make hypnotherapy more readily available in health centres, clinics, doctors’ surgeries and hospitals.

For further information, please contact Penny Ling, 01275 854354 or visit http://www.pennyling.co.uk

New Hypnotherapy Association

2011-04-04T14:42:00.000+01:00

New Hypnotherapy Association Promotes the Benefits of Focusing on Solutions

Local Hypnotherapist Penny Ling is the latest therapist to join the AfSFH, a new association aimed at promoting the benefits of Solution Focused Hypnotherapy.

The AfSFH has been set up to make the public aware of this highly effective form of therapy and is attracting qualified Hypnotherapists who specialise in the Solution Focused approach.

There is no doubt that that illnesses caused or made worse by stress are on the increase.* Conditions such as anxiety, depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), agoraphobia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and migraines are all ways that excess or sustained stress can affect our well-being.

Solution Focused Hypnotherapy (SFH) tackles these conditions by reducing anxiety and helping clients to regain a sense of perspective; once anxiety is under control many troublesome symptoms are alleviated. The therapy encourages positive thinking by helping clients to focus on solutions to problems, rather than dwelling on the problems themselves. Clients usually find their sleep patterns improve and motivation, confidence and self-esteem are all restored.

The Association for Solution Focused Hypnotherapists (AfSFH) has been established to promote the benefits of the Solution Focused approach to improving mental well-being so the public are more aware of this valuable resource. It also provides Hypnotherapists who specialise in the Solution Focused psychotherapy model with a forum for maintaining professional standards.

The Association is the brainchild of David Newton, founder and senior lecturer at the nationally recognised Clifton Practice Hypnotherapy Training Centre in Bristol. He explains: “Stress is a part of normal everyday life: dealing with household accounts and paperwork, traffic hold-ups, pressures at work, strains in our close relationships, health worries — if the stress is sustained or excessive it can lead to a vast array of emotional, behavioural or even physical illnesses.

SFH differs from earlier forms of therapy by encouraging clients to formulate a positive image of their problem-free future rather than analysing the cause or symptoms of the problem itself. It is a highly effective and liberating approach. The new Association will provide a valuable resource for both the public and for practising Solution Focused Hypnotherapists.”

Local Hypnotherapist Penny Ling is enthusiastic about joining the AfSFH. “I welcome the opportunity to be part of this new association. I have seen the tremendous benefits of focusing on solutions and encouraging positive thinking – clients find the approach amazingly uplifting”.

Penny Ling is a Solution Focused Hypnotherapist practising at the Oakspring Clinic Clevedon, and Birdwell Clinic Long Ashton. Call 11275 854354 to book a free initial consultation. To find out more about the new association, visit www.afsfh.com

New Year New Website

2010-12-20T16:21:00.002Z

2011 is going to be an exciting year for me. I hope to be moving further east at some point, but to get the ball rolling I will be offering supervision from Caversham Reading Berkshire. So go to http://www.solutions-focused-hypnotherapy.co.uk/index.html for my brand new website. You can find out more about supervision here.

But to all clients and people out there - Happy Christmas and New Year.

Regards
Penny

Today is National Stress Awareness Day 2010

2010-11-03T10:54:00.001Z

Today is National Stress Awareness day, now in these times of cut backs and economic uncertainty stress is a word very much at the forefront of our minds. I have in the last year seen a considerable rise in clients that due to company cutbacks have been pushed beyond their limits to breaking point – something that happened to myself during the dotcom bubble bursting and hoped I’d never see again.

It seems though that businesses have not learnt their lessons or the individual’s running them were not in a similar position 10 years ago, because they are putting their companies at risk by not taking the issues seriously.

I would like to bring in my case study here. Call her Jennifer. Working in the catering research and development world, came to me after being put on garden leave following an incident. Her team of people had been cut, due to a mix of economic cutbacks, management’s lack of action to replace a member on maternity leave and failure to support or make any changes to Jennifer’s workload, which became unmanageable over a period of months.

Despite Jennifer’s pleas to her manager, the MD considered that she was the problem, not the work, if she didn’t like the heat stay out of the kitchen. Jennifer had been in this role for 20 years, she has experience, knowledge, has up to that point with a good team for her to delegate to, done very well. Because of the lack of support from her superiors one day she snapped and shouted at someone. They in turn put in a grievance and the rest is history.

My role in all this was to help Jennifer keep focused, reduce her stress, to keep her thinking positive when all looked gloomy and to stop her sliding into depression.

During this time too, she got her solicitor involved who is an expert in employment law. Because the management had failed to do their jobs correctly, she was in an excellent position legally if anything happened. After months of not doing anything constructive her solicitor negotiated her release from employment providing they gave her a good reference and a sum which would tie her over until she found another job.

During the time I saw her she was able not only to stop sliding downwards, but also help a friend in a similar position, who wasn’t maintaining a level of composure. But this case illustrates a point. That ineffective management can cost companies money. If Jennifer’s boss had been more proactive, had the MD had some self awareness and empathy they could have saved them all that grief. In the end Jennifer with her solicitor and my help felt it was a bad experience to put behind her, it would have happened to anyone in that position and that in itself made her feel more confident in getting another job. The good news came on the last day I saw her – she’d been offered a job as a consultant, her experience was exactly what they had been looking for. Her old company’s loss was now their competitors gain.

We all know the primary sources for stress at work are:

Demands – Workload in terms of quantity, complexity and intensity are factors in causing work related stress. Prioritisation of work, resourcing, competency and training need to be considered, along with how work is allocated.

Control - – Individuals should have a say about the way their work is organised, and allowed to use and develop their skills in the work that they undertake. A lack, or a perceived lack of control at work is a factor that can cause work related stress.

Support – Individuals who have home or work problems can be stressed if they are not able to seek help and support from their colleagues and managers. They need to understand how and when to ask for support and what systems the business has to support them.

Relationships – Poor relationships within or between teams or up and down the management structure can lead to work related stress.

Role – It is important that individuals understand their role within their team, and how their team role fits into the wider organisational objectives. Not understanding your role or having too many conflicting demands are potential causes of work related stress.

Change – Change can be good, but individuals tend not to like change and in order to avoid causing work related stress it is important that individuals are prepared for change, understand why it is happening, and if necessary are given training to help them adapt to the new situation.

One way to understand what your company’s needs are regarding stress management is to have an audit done on structure, procedures and practices. See where your potential risks lie and have a strategy to combat problems before they get out of hand.

My role in helping people deal with their stress could be part of that, so if you’re experiencing problems of this nature, then contact me for a free assessment.

Penny Ling - www.pennyling.co.uk - 07759 820674

‘Taking care of business’ - why mental health in business is so important

2010-05-17T14:19:00.000+01:00

Mind has launched ‘Taking care of business’ as part of it’s latest campaign in getting business to take more responsibility in stress management. The charity claims 1 in 10 workers have sought support from their doctors with 7% taking anti-depressants and 5% seeing some kind of mental health practitioner. It coincides with government statistics showing the biggest rise in anti-depressant prescriptions ever, with a record 39.1 million used in 2009.

The recession may have contributed to some of this increase, but Mind suggests companies do not take workplace mental health problems seriously or they are badly managed. They found only 38% of workers think their current employer is doing enough to support them.

This corresponds to my own findings, many clients in the last 12 months are experiencing extreme stress at work which manifests itself as panic attacks, IBS and depression, a common factor being they feel helpless and not in control of the situation.

BT in a bid to help their workers have even set up an indoor vegetable garden to help improve moral, something so simple can make a lot of difference, not that every business has the ability to do something like this, but it can review their stress management policy, making sure line managers understand mental health issues. One problem is, that it is still a taboo subject and many hide the fact they have these problems because they have the belief it’s a weakness. I have seen top execs from multi-national companies down to local secretaries, all with the same issues – stress does not discriminate against age, class, intellect, colour, creed or social status.

Another problem is taking time off work to deal with the problem. The number of clients I have to see late evenings and Saturday mornings because they can’t take time off work because they can’t let their bosses know they have a problem is staggering. It’s time for a change, so if you have an issue with stress, or your company does it’s time to deal with it. You could employ someone like myself to help change the way the company deals with stress, whatever you do taking anti-depressants will only alleviate the symptoms but not deal with the causes.

The selfish rebel

2010-03-10T11:18:00.000Z

I call this blog the selfish rebel because it’s where many people are sold the idea that smoking is cool, it’s defying authority, and it’s a two finger salute at the establishment. I have to admit I have tried a cigarette and a cigar but they tasted disgusting and I had at the back of my mind what they did for my grandfather.

Many children growing up only see their grandparents at odd intervals of time and of course that’s when the grandparents are also being best behaved. My childhood was slightly different. I lived with my grandparents on my mums’ side. 3 generations all crammed into a 4 bedroom house in London was for a young child paradise, always having family around, great aunts and uncles dropping by, cousins, aunts, uncles, the house was always alive and thronging. But my grandfather smoked. In fact both granddads smoked, the one living miles away in Norfolk one Saturday lit up a cigarette after spending the morning on the allotment, he then experienced Ventricular fibrillation, he managed to get back home but died in the time it took my grandmother to make him a cup of tea.

A week later my other grandfather suffered a massive stroke. He was paralysed down the left hand side; he could not dress himself, could not speak or walk, just sit there dribbling. After being in hospital he made a very slow recovery. I say recovery but he wasn’t the lively jokey granddad I once had. His health deterorated, he started to get huge gaping ulcers on his legs that had to be regularly dressed. They stank. He couldn’t ride his bike; he could just about walk after 6 months.
He lived with us another 5 years before deciding he’d had enough and slowly starved himself to death, he went into hospital and gave up. The doctors said all that had happened was because he smoked. He’d had lead a very active life, he didn’t drink, occasionally bet on the horses, loved song and dance and old American films and comedy, including Laurel and Hardy. He was great fun and as a 7 year old I saw what smoking could do – I vowed then never to take it up.

Peer pressure never made any difference, I didn’t care if they thought it looked cool, I knew what it would do to them. Many people think it helps them relax, but the truth is, as soon as that smoke, and 4000 different chemicals hit your lungs, your body goes into the fight response. Your heart rate increases, as does your blood pressure, in your body’s response to get away from this attack from all these toxic fumes.

So why do so many people find it hard to give up, if our bodies are trying to get away from it. Well much of it has to do with the reward centres in the brain. When we believe we are doing something pleasurable our brains become conditioned to seek out the same responses. Our higher brains know smoking is wrong and will make a concerted effort to subdue the primitive brain when it knows it can’t smoke – on an air craft, in hospital. Only when we are in a situation where we can does the limbic system send a packet of dopamine to the higher brain to give it the kick to allow it to smoke does it give in. dopamine is the natural equivalent of cocaine. Fine when we want to be motivated, when we want a pain killer, to help us keep exercising, but not when we have a habit.

Those who successfully give up usually do so because the areas of our lives that we feel happy with give us the motivation, the spare capacity to be able to tackle the habit and find solutions to the problem. My husband gave up because he knew if he smoked I wouldn’t go out with him. He changed the way he socialised and how the habit manifested itself to change the automatic responses.

Interestingly enough, when I was training I was in a very good position to get feedback from people who successfully gave up smoking using hypnosis. They generally had a positive picture of what they wanted. Most wanted to give up because of a significant other or a relationship that would suffer if they were to die early as the result of smoking. A lot of people think it can’t possibly happen to them, but in my circle of friends I grew up with in London, one died of a heart attack aged 33 and another died of lung cancer aged 40. All because they smoked.

One friend I tried the stop smoking hypnosis on found almost immediately that he was thinking of it as something he did in the past, he gave up instantly, only to last 3 months until one Saturday night he’d got severely drunk and one of his kind friends gave him a cigarette. Much like a parent who says no, but caves in to get some peace, the child grows up to recognise that no does not mean no if it keeps on enough, the subconscious which is the about 7 years old in age does the same thing. If you’re drunk you do not have the mental capacity to rationalise what you are doing. You give in once and you’re back to square one. Then you feel guilty; berate yourself and all the negative emotions you’re now indulging in will hinder you stopping again until you’ve sorted it out and can focus on this worthwhile goal.

When hypnosis works well it’s because all of you is relaxed and on board. You really want to achieve this, you feel positive, you haven’t got a lot of negative things going on in your life, and you can put all your effort in maintaining the correct response to being a non-smoker. If you imagine you are a non-smoker you’re half way there. Just seeing a picture of what things will be like when you’ve stopped. Imagine not coughing up all that phlegm, imagine feeling healthy, not wheezing, imagine smelling good. Imagine being attractive to others. And of course keep in your mind that smoking increases the chances of ill health, reduce immune system, more likely to be impotent by 40 because of the lack of blood flow, possibility of cancer of the mouth – again having know people with mouth cancer, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone - it’s not only disfiguring - it’s exceedingly painful.

Also if you’re thinking from an employer point of view, how many employers want to see their staff standing around outside smoking?. It’s got such a negative name now that it could swing your chances at getting a job – much like being a woman 20 years ago would prompt the interview question – are you planning to have children? (although illegal it was still a part of the interview!) Now days it could be “Do you smoke?” If your health is much more likely to suffer because of it, that’s another reason for employers to think twice about employing you. Do you really want to hold yourself back?

So reduce your stress and stop smoking this March.

Why is it so hard to lose weight

2010-01-12T15:35:00.000Z

The battle to lose weight is big business, diets offering the suggestion that you'll lose stones in weeks are a tempting prospect, but before you commit to any diet, here are some things you should know about the body and brain that may help you decide which route you should take.

Our appetite is governed by a number of things going on in our body. The hypothalamus in the brain regulates and monitors various chemical signals from around the body. The signal to eat is triggered by a number of factors. The amount of leptin being produced by the fat cells in our body tells our brains whether we're at risk from starvation. Sudden losses in weight through illness or use of some diet drugs or diets can trigger this leptin production.

When this happens we are drawn to high fat food, it's a subconscious response and research shows that we feel more compelled to eat and not consciously be aware of what it is we're eating. Watching the birds chose the food put out for them this snowy period shows how deep this compulsion is, the birds tend to go for the high fat or sugar foods, like fat balls and fruit. The seeds and bread tend to take longer to be eaten. The birds haven't got the brain capacity to know what's the most nutritious, it's a built in instinct.

We also have a mechanism in the stomach that sends the message to the hypothalamus which tells us we're full and can stop eating. If we're lucky and had a mother who let us get down from the table when we were full we're lucky. Making children eat everything on their plate over rides this trigger and so we lose touch with this stop system.

We use food as rewards, "if you're a good girl you can have a sweety after we've done X, Y & Z". This builds up a pattern of habit in the limbic part of the brain. This template becomes stores in the hippocampus and so when faced with a situation, particularly with a similar unpleasant one, our unhappiness with the situation looks for a way out and last time - your hippocampus tells you, you had a cake, or sweets, or whatever the food choice is. The same goes for smoking or drinking, we enforce these habits as coping mechanisms and they do not allow us to cope at all.

I hope at this point you haven't thought - Oh dear there's just no point I’ve got no hope then, I think I'll have a cup of tea and a slice of cake to make me feel better - because there are a number of things you can do which will help.

1) Exercise - yes I know, everyone is thinking - oh no not that old chestnut, I can't be bothered or have the time. Well make the time. Let’s start with the reasons why.
- You burn up calories
- You produce Dopamine in the brain - this is the neurochemical that motivates us. The more dopamine you produce the more likely it is you'll carry on exercising and burn off more weight.
- You feel happier thanks to the dopamine, which in turn will produce more seratonin. As a side effect Seratonin makes us feel less hungry. Exercise, dopamine and seratonin will also help de-stress you. When you feel stressed you produce cortisol and this will make you feel hungry.

2) Be aware/mindful of what you're doing.
I know everyone groans when the two words "calorie counting" is metered around, yes it's a bind but knowing exactly what you're putting in will help you calculate how much exercise you'll need to burn off the calories. Remember if the body loses too much too quickly you'll likely to crave high fat foods, so reduce the calories gradually. You should look for a 2lb a week reduction.
Also eat slower - that full mechanism I mentioned earlier, well if you eat your food, chewing and moving the food around your mouth tasting every bit, then swallowing and take your time, you will start to recognise that full message coming back. Eat at the table where you can focus on the food, take as long as you can, and stop when you feel full.

3) Eat more blended foods in the form of soup!
Yep a surprising one that, but experiments show that if you make and eat soup made up of blended vegetables and some protein, it stays longer in your stomach than if you drink a glass of water and eat solids.

4) Are you getting good sleep?
The reason I put this in is because someone suffering with sleep apnoea will be told by their doctor to lose weight and it should clear up. The problem is though, if you have severe sleep apnoea then you just don't have the energy to do anything, you're falling asleep at the drop of a hat. I know someone who participated in trials to measure cortisol in sleep apnoea sufferers and their levels were way higher than normal. Cortisol, is a stress hormone and continued production will put a lot of pressure on the organs and as I've said before increases one's appetite.
This friend on receiving a pap mask lost 4 stone in two years, and now exercises several times a week and is a transformed person.

5) Reduce stress - look at your lifestyle. Are there any areas you're unhappy about? Think of the things you might like to do instead. Set yourself solid goals and the less stressed you are, the more discipline you'll find yourself maintaining.

6) If you're really serious about it, get some help. It's easier to do when you're not alone. Find a friend who can help, a partner, a sports coach, or a weight loss therapist that can help with habit breaking, like myself.

7) Think thin. You'll have more success focusing on what you want instead of what you don't want. Think of the goal, not what's driving that need. Think of being a size 10 so you see, feel and know how you'll feel when you're there. Don't focus on the negatives, as the brain doesn't understand don't.

What ever you do, don't ignore it. Weight related problems not only cost us the tax payer vast amounts of money in NHS bills each year, but being obese contributes to all sorts of diseases. Joint pain for example, the extra weight our knees and hips have to carry around lead to all sorts of problems. But if you're too overweight the NHS won't operate because it's too dangerous. Heart disease, diabetes, colon cancer, breast cancer - the list goes on.

What's the point?

2009-12-30T20:09:00.000Z

I have been seeing a seriously depressed 79 year old of late, who can't see the point of carrying on. Despite his body being very fit for his age, he feels he was put on this planet for his pleasure only - that he wasn't meant for work and all the years he was working as a clerk was something he did out of duty not for pleasure. No - he's convinced his point of being was to enjoy himself through sport, which now at 79 he can no longer participate in.

At 79 he can no longer see the point of going on, he wants to die but is too scared of not doing it right, the prospect of getting it wrong and spending many years in a bed scares him most.

Well we could all say what's the point of us being here. You may believe in God and therefore feel there must be a purpose - even though we don't know what that purpose is. If you think we're here due to an accident of a planet being in just the right place, that's fine too. The key really is how you see yourself fitting in and understanding the relationship between you and the rest of the world.

Part of that key is self acceptance. If we accept our current predicament we can focus on the important things, where to go next perhaps, or living in a much more peaceful and calmer way.

Look at what 2009 has taught you, accept there are some things you may be unhappy about, but be thankful you've made it to 2010. Now start to look at what you can change to make you feel much happier - and if it involves other people, remember they may not be here for the same reasons you are - look after yourself first, worry about what other people are doing second.

Happy 2010.

Mindscape for mind management.