I call this blog the selfish rebel because it’s where many people are sold the idea that smoking is cool, it’s defying authority, and it’s a two finger salute at the establishment. I have to admit I have tried a cigarette and a cigar but they tasted disgusting and I had at the back of my mind what they did for my grandfather.
Many children growing up only see their grandparents at odd intervals of time and of course that’s when the grandparents are also being best behaved. My childhood was slightly different. I lived with my grandparents on my mums’ side. 3 generations all crammed into a 4 bedroom house in London was for a young child paradise, always having family around, great aunts and uncles dropping by, cousins, aunts, uncles, the house was always alive and thronging. But my grandfather smoked. In fact both granddads smoked, the one living miles away in Norfolk one Saturday lit up a cigarette after spending the morning on the allotment, he then experienced Ventricular fibrillation, he managed to get back home but died in the time it took my grandmother to make him a cup of tea.
A week later my other grandfather suffered a massive stroke. He was paralysed down the left hand side; he could not dress himself, could not speak or walk, just sit there dribbling. After being in hospital he made a very slow recovery. I say recovery but he wasn’t the lively jokey granddad I once had. His health deterorated, he started to get huge gaping ulcers on his legs that had to be regularly dressed. They stank. He couldn’t ride his bike; he could just about walk after 6 months.
He lived with us another 5 years before deciding he’d had enough and slowly starved himself to death, he went into hospital and gave up. The doctors said all that had happened was because he smoked. He’d had lead a very active life, he didn’t drink, occasionally bet on the horses, loved song and dance and old American films and comedy, including Laurel and Hardy. He was great fun and as a 7 year old I saw what smoking could do – I vowed then never to take it up.
Peer pressure never made any difference, I didn’t care if they thought it looked cool, I knew what it would do to them. Many people think it helps them relax, but the truth is, as soon as that smoke, and 4000 different chemicals hit your lungs, your body goes into the fight response. Your heart rate increases, as does your blood pressure, in your body’s response to get away from this attack from all these toxic fumes.
So why do so many people find it hard to give up, if our bodies are trying to get away from it. Well much of it has to do with the reward centres in the brain. When we believe we are doing something pleasurable our brains become conditioned to seek out the same responses. Our higher brains know smoking is wrong and will make a concerted effort to subdue the primitive brain when it knows it can’t smoke – on an air craft, in hospital. Only when we are in a situation where we can does the limbic system send a packet of dopamine to the higher brain to give it the kick to allow it to smoke does it give in. dopamine is the natural equivalent of cocaine. Fine when we want to be motivated, when we want a pain killer, to help us keep exercising, but not when we have a habit.
Those who successfully give up usually do so because the areas of our lives that we feel happy with give us the motivation, the spare capacity to be able to tackle the habit and find solutions to the problem. My husband gave up because he knew if he smoked I wouldn’t go out with him. He changed the way he socialised and how the habit manifested itself to change the automatic responses.
Interestingly enough, when I was training I was in a very good position to get feedback from people who successfully gave up smoking using hypnosis. They generally had a positive picture of what they wanted. Most wanted to give up because of a significant other or a relationship that would suffer if they were to die early as the result of smoking. A lot of people think it can’t possibly happen to them, but in my circle of friends I grew up with in London, one died of a heart attack aged 33 and another died of lung cancer aged 40. All because they smoked.
One friend I tried the stop smoking hypnosis on found almost immediately that he was thinking of it as something he did in the past, he gave up instantly, only to last 3 months until one Saturday night he’d got severely drunk and one of his kind friends gave him a cigarette. Much like a parent who says no, but caves in to get some peace, the child grows up to recognise that no does not mean no if it keeps on enough, the subconscious which is the about 7 years old in age does the same thing. If you’re drunk you do not have the mental capacity to rationalise what you are doing. You give in once and you’re back to square one. Then you feel guilty; berate yourself and all the negative emotions you’re now indulging in will hinder you stopping again until you’ve sorted it out and can focus on this worthwhile goal.
When hypnosis works well it’s because all of you is relaxed and on board. You really want to achieve this, you feel positive, you haven’t got a lot of negative things going on in your life, and you can put all your effort in maintaining the correct response to being a non-smoker. If you imagine you are a non-smoker you’re half way there. Just seeing a picture of what things will be like when you’ve stopped. Imagine not coughing up all that phlegm, imagine feeling healthy, not wheezing, imagine smelling good. Imagine being attractive to others. And of course keep in your mind that smoking increases the chances of ill health, reduce immune system, more likely to be impotent by 40 because of the lack of blood flow, possibility of cancer of the mouth – again having know people with mouth cancer, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone - it’s not only disfiguring - it’s exceedingly painful.
Also if you’re thinking from an employer point of view, how many employers want to see their staff standing around outside smoking?. It’s got such a negative name now that it could swing your chances at getting a job – much like being a woman 20 years ago would prompt the interview question – are you planning to have children? (although illegal it was still a part of the interview!) Now days it could be “Do you smoke?” If your health is much more likely to suffer because of it, that’s another reason for employers to think twice about employing you. Do you really want to hold yourself back?
So reduce your stress and stop smoking this March.
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